The gallery held an astonishing 29 people at this week’s Senate meeting. Along with the regulars — SA President Weissers, VP Crowls, Sustainability Coordinator Megan Do-It, outgoing Elections Chair Sue-my-uh Huh-sahn and Treasurer Andrew Flack (FLACK!) — they were all committee aides awaiting approval. Time to roll.

Speaker Kierstin Hughes (now with a gavel!): “Let’s try to be quick and efficient.” We were going to insert a hilarious link here to a YouTube video of a laugh track, but none of them were that high quality. So let’s laugh on the inside. HA-HA!

Dewitt revealed this week’s sustainable senator to be Senator Jon Junig, who got a sweet prize, although not everyone was happy:

Dep. Speaker Dan Cohn: “Motion to bitch: I still never got my prize.” PERSEVERE!

Wait, did Senator Sneha Rath imply that the SA has lost track of its money, and that… non-funded groups have suddenly become SA funded? Flack (FLACK!) did not know anything about this. We’ll keep you posted, assuming it’s talked about next week. Otherwise you’re pretty much on your own. WILDLY CONJECTURE!

Did you know it costs $8,000 for Dandelion Square’s clock tower to be repainted? Non-fiction. CTQ will do it for $7,000. FYI.

One to-be-left-unnamed senator lectured Sen. Bradley Halpern on flier rules. You do not lecture Senator Bradley Halpern. NO SERIOUSLY.

A water refill station will be added to Gleason Library, according to Projects. We’re still waiting for the turkey club to be added to the Meliora menu. Although perhaps the Director of Dining Services doesn’t read CTQ… yet…

During new business, the Senate certified the freshmen election results and thereby gained four new members: Asad H. Arastu, Shubho Bhattacharyya, Chizoba Umesi and Calvin Yoon. This brought the total number of members whose names CTQ can’t pronounce to five (damn you, Casey Slone!). One of those clauses was a joke, for the record.

All of the committee aides were approved. Projects & Services gets aides! Policy gets aides! Communications gets aides! EVERYBODY GETS AIDES! One aide is from Saginaw, MICHIGAN. We approve, but wonder what their favorite STATE school IS. Hopefully, it’s THE BEST one. SUBLIMINAL!

At the recess, Senator J.J. Gonzalez wants it known that some cute Projects aides were checking him out. SENATECEST?

Also in recess, CTQ asked Hughes a question, but more importantly subconsciously switched KEER-STIN with re-approved committee aide KURR-STIN Barry. Apologies. We knew better.

New business continued with four senators vying for three seats on the Steering Committee. The winners, post-executive session: Guerra, Slone and Umesi, who, when asked by Junig what he most wanted to change, said: “Food? And… I don’t know! I love this school so much.” YouTube also lacks a good “Awww, shucks!” video.

The last major hurdle for the evening was the selection of the final Appropro Committee member. Competing: Senators April Hu, Dennis Nave and Carlos Tejeda. This was Nave’s fourth attempt out of the last five senate meetings to win something — anything — but this time, his speech that we’ve heard FOUR DIFFERENT TIMES actually worked, as was discovered post-executive session. We don’t know how the debate between members went, but it was presumably something like this. This also marks what seems like THE LAST EXECUTIVE SESSION OF THE SEMESTER. We are happy.

Weissmann reported that he, Crowley, Experience Eastman Coordinator Ben Pollack and UR Vice President for General Awesomeness Paul Burgett would be having a fancy dinner, somewhere, that you’re not invited to attend. IN-CROWD!

Hughes ended the meeting with an emotional plea to not reveal details of executive session, which defies the point of even doing it, and reminds the senate that some people have feelings. We don’t understand “feelings,” or at least not since the last of it went out of us at midnight.

Here’s to the freshmen picking up snaps, speed and CTQ.

Adjourned!