This week’s Senate kicked off with near full attendance, although Sen. Jon Junig’s absence for the second straight week makes a noticeable difference. We’re not sure if it’s illness, other meetings or too much Snow White. LAY OFF THE BOLIVIAN MARCHING POWDER/FLORIDA SNOW/CALIFORNIA CORNFLAKES, MAN! (Correction amended)

To summarize Open Forum, we’ll let you do some mad libs:

Sen. Casey Slone ______________ that Dean _____________ is setting up a ______ _______ ________ to discuss _______. SA President Eric Weissmann noted that the SA had been asking for this for two __________ and yet when it did happen, help was sought not from the Senate, but from __________ who had merely set up a ______________ group in protest.

If your answers involved anything related to alcohol, then you’re probably a member of the Senate or an administrator. If your answers involved immature sexual innuendo, then you’re probably a student. If your answers involved a Triceratops, you’re just special. Or you’re snorting the snowcones, if you know what we mean. WE KNOW OUR AUDIENCE WELL!

In Standing Committee news, we learned that UR Parking ________ Glen Sicard would be just absolutely thrilled if students sent him e-mails with questions so he can answer them as soon as he gets them, because he’s super thrilled about being a great communicator. ________ _________, if you know what we mean.

Time for a FLA — what? Andrew Flack has no report? There has to be something! Actually, all the committee heads conspired to trick Speaker Kierstin Hughes into thinking that none of them had news. But so luckily for us, they did. JOY!

Appropro: CAB got their funding request, which means 30 new costumes for Boar’s Head. Additionally, the proposed form detailing how SA groups need to handle equipment will be scrapped; the information will just be folded into the regular equipment supplemental form. SUSTAINABILITY!

Communications: The senators without headshots on the Hive will be getting them before next week’s senate meeting. It will totally happen.

Policy and Review: Community Service Network has a new constitution to get approved, UR Cooking Club’s preliminary status was extended pending further constitutional changes and Refugee Students’ Association applied for preliminary status. Solar Splash — they’re building a solar-powered boat — wanted full SA recognition as well (they got it during new business).

Projects & Services: The Meliora Dinner series will be reviewed and P&S will work on having the College get more left-handed desks, which are in short supply. Also, Sen. Scott Strenger advocated for better advertising of each academic department’s undergraduate advisers, noting that those advisers are for more than just majors. TRUE.

In new business, the Senate weighed CSN’s new constitution. CSN has a group coffer into which SA funding goes and the board doles out money to the member groups. But the group also has attendance issues. Sen. Dennis Nave noted that this meant, potentially, that only six people (only half of their 11-person board has to attend each week) could decide where thousands of dollars go. The senate moved past his objection and gave CSN approval. VOLUNTEERS UNITE! (when you feel like it…)

Strenger, noting the number of beer cans on the Fraternity Quad, wanted to implement a “Be a man, recycle your can” campaign. WALK FOR ALUMINUM?

In Announcements, Sen. Harry Brookstein made the weakest pitch for Sexual Assault Awareness Week ever. It’s okay — CTQ imagines a world where every wife gets slapped for not bringing that beer in quickly enough. MAKE ME A SANDWICH, WOMAN! We need a sarcastic emoticon.

The freshmen senators stayed almost completely quiet for the meeting, as has been a running trend. Do they have opinions, or what? GET ON THAT.

Some say the world will end in fire, some say in ice, but whatever your opinion is, CTQ enjoys hearing it (especially polite ones, which they have all been so far). That is why, for instance, we are cutting back on links — seems we might have abused that power. Sorry, but sometimes we get excited and it’s just too much fun.

Adjourned!

Amended: Sen. Junig was indeed present for the Oct. 19 senate meeting, and was delightfully cheery. CTQ apologizes for interchanging Alpha Delta Phi brothers (Mills and Slone were absent).